Do You Suffer from BPS? (Bad Parent Syndrome)

No Supermom - 585

My SuperMom cape is off-kilter these days.

Okay, truth be told, I don’t have a SuperMom cape.  But if I did, it would definitely be off-kilter.

I’ve been juggling lots of different things lately and feel as if I haven’t given the people and priorities in my life the attention they deserve.  That includes my six-year-old and two-year-old boys.  The guilt has crept in, leading me to be all-too-hard on myself.

Know the feeling?

I’ve decided to call it Bad Parent Syndrome (BPS): the pervasive sense that you’re not managing your various roles in life – particularly that of parent – effectively.  That you can’t juggle all of life’s tasks “well enough.”  The result?  Feelings of inadequacy.

*sigh*

Couple that with the fact that aliens have taken over my two-year-old.  Who is this kid, anyway?!  When he’s in a good mood, he seems just like the little man we know and love – a charming, sweet and funny character.  But catch him in a defiant mood, and look out!  Hurricane B (Alien B?) is in full fury, leaving a path of destruction and frazzled parents in his wake.

Discipline?  Hah!  We try really hard, but for some reason it’s not working so well these days.  Our patience is tested daily.  Then tested again.

ARRRGH!!!

Anyway, back to the cape.  So, I’ve been feeling like a less-than-stellar parent, and haven’t been dedicating a satisfying amount of time to writing and other pursuits.

So… given my glass-half-full outlook, what the heck do I do about all this?

I take a deep breath.  I remember that this is a phase and it’ll pass.  I know that I’m not perfect, and that that’s okay.   In fact, it’s a good thing.  I know that the nasty BPS will subside.  And I realize that we all have multiple priorities and times in our lives where we feel out of balance.  And when we feel off-balance, we strive to find equilibrium again.

It’s all good.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to spend some time attempting to boost my parenting self-esteem.

I am a great parent.  I am a great parent.  I am a great parent.  I am a great parent…

 

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Jennifer Laurent March 14, 2013 at 10:53 pm

You Christine are an awesome parent!! Love this post!! And I do believe we should most certainly have capes!!!

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christineonthebrighterside March 22, 2013 at 9:50 am

Thanks so much, Jenn – I really appreciate that! Yes, we DO deserve capes, don’t we?… and once I have one, I can put it off-kilter a bit 😉

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Dawn, of Choosing the Better Life March 15, 2013 at 7:30 am

You ARE a great parent! I really liked this post, Christine. I don’t even have children but empathized with you throughout the post. I struggle with the same types of feelings and overwhelm and being pulled in too many directions – and that’s without even factoring on little ones depending on me, too! I’ve certainly heard my mommy friends grapple with the elusive balance and fight against guilt that family or work or something is getting the short end of the stick in the struggle. Not so. I think we’re all doing the best we can. My hat is off to you for the many wonderful things you do, the steady love and guidance you give your children, the love you share with your husband and family, the quality friend that you are. So I doubt your cape is off-kilter, but you can wear my hat. 😉 I especially love your Brighter Side take on it all, and bits of humor, too! I know you are, I know you are, I know you are …

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christineonthebrighterside March 22, 2013 at 9:57 am

Thanks so much for your kind words, Dawn! And I really needed to hear “we’re all doing the best we can” – that helped me lower my shoulders and take a deep breath. Thank you! It’s so true. We all have our own challenges, and as long as we stay as centered as possible and do our best to maintain some sort of balance, the rest will eventually fall into place. The ebb and flow of life, right?

Thanks for making me smile. 🙂

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Dawn, of Choosing the Better Life March 22, 2013 at 10:29 am

If it makes you feel better, I almost killed my “baby” (dog). http://choosingthebetterlife.com/2012/09/a-mothers-love-or-how-to-not-kill-your-dog.html Major guilt! So, yes, we just take it a day at a time and do the best we can! Glad you’re smiling. 🙂 Have a great weekend with your family, Supermom.

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christineonthebrighterside April 5, 2013 at 10:37 pm

Oh Dawn! I felt so bad for you when I read your blog post! What a horribly stressful experience, and I could imagine the scenario happening so easily – you were just trying to ease her pain. So glad all turned out okay with Angel. And you’re right – we simply do the best we can in the moment. Hugs!

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Ida Mae March 18, 2013 at 7:22 am

You are a great parent…you are a great parent…and this too shall pass! Your positive attitude will carry you through, and will rub off on those kiddies! It’s all normal child development stuff! You are a great parent… You are…

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christineonthebrighterside March 22, 2013 at 10:02 am

Oh Ida Mae, thank you!!! Hearing “this too shall pass” really helps. I need to remember that these times won’t last forever – and because of that, I need to try and squeeze every bit of enjoyment out of them that I can. Thanks for the encouragement and great reminder!

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